Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant
Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant gleans its name from one segment in a twelve volume series of novels The Saga of Darren Shan written by Irish writer Darren O'Shaughnessy. In truth it’s a hybrid of several of the books which all feature Darren Shan here played by Chris Massoglia. He’s a straight A high school teen with one flaw – he’s the complete opposite of an arachnophobe and when he and his pal Steve (Josh Hutcherson) sneak out to go to a freak show Darren gets enamoured with Madam Octa, a monstrous and deadly poisonous spider that belongs to Larten Crepsley (John C. Reilly). When Darren impulsively steals Octa it bits Steve and for the antidote Darren has to promise Crepsley that he will take on the job as his assistant. As the title implies he bit off more than he could chew (or is that chewed off more than he can bite?). As a half vampire he can no longer live at home with mom, dad and two sisters (too tempting as a snack) so his death is faked and he and Crepsley take sanctuary in the Cirque du Freak campground, living with Evra the Snake Boy (Patrick Fugit) as well as the three-ring leader Mr. Tall (Ken Watanabe) and Crepsley’s main squeeze Madame Truska (Salma Hayek still hot after childbirth and sporting a beard). They’re not out of the woods here though and that’s not because they’re camped out in the forest. As revealed in a cryptic conversation between Crepsley and Gavner Purl (Willem Dafoe) there’s a new strain of blood suckers out there called Vampanese. The two solitudes have held an uneasy truce for centuries but that’s about to unravel if an obese power broker named Mr. Tiny (Michael Cerveris) has his way. As a lightweight PG thriller this film is passable Halloween action but lingering constantly is the setup for a follow up hybrid inspired by that original dozen books.