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Blog by Don Kennedy

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Jack the Giant Slayer

Jack the Giant Slayer features rising star Nicholas Hault (Warm Bodies) as Jack, a somewhat distracted subject of King Brahmwell (Ian McShane) who never the less champions the honour of the King’s daughter Princess Isabelle (Elenor Tomlinson) while at the castle. He’s there to sell the family horse and wagon in order to buy thatch for his uncle’s farmhouse roof. He makes a poor deal with a light fingered Friar who needs to make a quick getaway and buys Jack’s horse using “magic” beans for collateral. Turns out the beans are so potent that for security they were buried with the legendary King Eric along with his charmed crown which he’d used at one time to eradicate marauding giants from this human kingdom. The beans by the way exhibit explosive growth when wet – and wouldn’t you know Jack, Isabelle and the beans would end up in his leaky farmhouse in the middle of a deluge. The upshot is quite a shoot up indeed as before you can say Rumplestiltskin they’re stuck up in the clouds. To the rescue is the brave and loyal soldier Elmont (Ewan McGregor) and the King’s right hand man Roderick (Stanley Tucci). Too bad it was Roderick who exhumed the beans and crown in the first place for a coup d’etat. He plans to use the crown to enslave the hulking and merciless fanciers-of-Englishmen-as-a-delicacy and get them to do his bidding. In the land at the top of the beanstalk Jack et al have a prolonged and harrowing meeting with these giants, now lead by the two headed General Fallon (Bill Nighy). Jack the Giant Slayer shouldn’t be confused with Jack and the Beanstalk – even though that’s exactly what happened with the screenwriters of this eye popping CGI romp. The legend of Jack dispatching a legion of gargantuans is almost as old as the story of King Arthur but it wasn’t until about 300 years ago that genetically enhanced legumes were literally tossed into the mix and by then it was down to just one giant. In this mash-up we have just barely one golden harp, no goose that lays golden eggs and – oh fiddlesticks, who wants to split peas when the outcome is as fun and as spellbinding as this family pleasing adventure.

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