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The Blind Side

November 22nd, 2009

The Blind Side is a spot to the left of a football quarterback that makes the job of a left tackle so important – just ask former Toronto Argonaut Joe Theismann who in 1985 while QB-ing the Washington Redskins was blindsided so hard that it ended his brilliant career. The blind side is clearly also an area of subsidized housing in Memphis that is invisible to residents of tonier suburbs of th ...

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Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans

November 22nd, 2009

Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans stars Nicolas Cage in his most recent ridiculous hairpiece playing Terence McDonagh, a homicide detective in The Big Easy with a giant monkey on his back. He has a preference for cocaine which he borrows from the police properties room to keep himself and his hooker girlfriend Frankie (Eva Mendes) living the high life. He comes by his job and his addic ...

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Planet 51

November 22nd, 2009

Planet 51 is located far across the galaxy where greenish creatures live surrounded by 1950’s kitsch. Also lost in the 50’s is the population’s conception of an alien invasion as they feel it would most certainly involve zombie-factioning of the invaded not to mention body probes. Their concept of the universe goes back even farther - to about the 1750’s. So when Captain Charles T. Baker (D ...

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2012

November 15th, 2009

2012 is when a planetary alignment will instigate the destruction of our planet according to the ancient Mayan calendar - December 21st to be exact, 12-21-12. Flash forward to December 2012 and Adrian Helmsley (Chiwetel Ejiofor) a US Geologist is discovering that unprecedented solar flares are shooting light particles at the earth’s core which is heating up the crust. He alerts US President T ...

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Pirate Radio

November 15th, 2009

Pirate Radio was a mid 60’s phenomenon in Britain born out of necessity as government was the only source of radio and refused to play Rock and Roll. Enterprising DJ’s turned rusty ships into high seas transmitters and started beaming the demon music without benefit of a broadcast license to a nation of thirsty ears. The appalled government of the time made a vow to shut the renegades down wh ...

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Antichrist

November 15th, 2009

Antichrist ironically stars Willem Dafoe who once took on the controversial portrayal of the messiah in "The Last Temptation of Jesus Christ”. The religious right can relax about this one which doesn’t contain anything that can be misconstrued as blasphemy. Defoe plays opposite Charlotte Gainsbourg as a married couple that remain nameless. “He” is a therapist and “She” is an anthropologist. S ...

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Tetro

November 15th, 2009

Tetro stars Vincent Gallo, under wraps for too long and in probably his best role since Buffalo 66. He’s Tetro, a nickname that is short for the family name of Tetrosini and the only thing from his family that he has not abandoned in his self imposed South American exile. When his young brother Bennie (Alden Ehrenreich) shows up he has a lot of questions about the family history that Tetro is ...

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A Christmas Carol

November 8th, 2009

A Christmas Carol is a fresh take by Disney on the Dickens classic starring Jim Carey taking on eight roles, most notably Ebenezer Scrooge. This go-round uses the somewhat creepy animation technique of “performance capture” pioneered in The Polar Express and further refined as 3D in Beowulf. The 3D here allows the Disney folks to do what they do best – make a fable into a ride. As a ghost sto ...

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The Box

November 8th, 2009

The Box is a bloated retelling of a 1970’s short story that became an episode of the rejuvenated Twilight Zone in the 1980’s. Cameron Diaz and James Marsden are Norma and Arthur Lewis, a mid seventies professional couple that even with two incomes have money issues. Their situation changes when they come face to face (or at least most of his face) with lightning strike survivor Arlington Stew ...

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The Damned United

November 8th, 2009

The Damned United is a dandy little sports film set in the late sixties and early 70’s. Michael Sheen with his chameleon like talent puts in another stellar personification, this time of iconic soccer manager Brian Clough whose modest greatness could have been exponentially more glorious if it were not for his stubborn need for revenge. Ironically it was the quest for vengeance that inspired ...

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The Blind Side

Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans

Planet 51

2012

Pirate Radio

Antichrist

Tetro

A Christmas Carol

The Box

The Damned United

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